After months of me not speaking to said "married man" I finally decided to, since he seemed to forget why I stopped talking to him, which was because he told me to. Then I proceeded to remind him of everything else he said to me, it all seemed to be coming back to him. While I didn't really get an apology, I guess you could say we made up... because we did finally end up hooking up. However, it was about as lackluster as his kissing. So now while he claims I'm his (personally, I still very much view myself as completely single as I never agreed to another relationship with him), I've noticed he keeps finding reasons to not hang out with me before I could even suggest that we do hang out at all. For example, since work wasn't sending me out of town it suddenly became his family was in town for the next 3 weeks. Then I started suggesting to him that he makes plans with me after his family leaves, he acted like we should but then it happened again. He stated a few days later how his old army buddies were coming to town on Thursday, the day he knows I'm off work usually. I found that odd because before he told me how Thursdays were his "day of rest" after him working a week straight.
Needless to say, the thrill has been completely gone on my end, to the point I'm not investing my thoughts or pursuits of him anymore really. I'll humor the few tiny texts he sends me saying how he wants me... or sometimes I'll just ignore the texts until I feel like getting back to him, if that. I'm no longer going to pursue him harder than he pursues me and I'm not going to be the one putting in any real effort anymore because I kind of don't want him in my life but I haven't broken the news to him. I'm kind of just curious if he ever plans anything at all with me within the month of August and if things haven't ended by then, I'll let him know that whatever he thinks this is, is over.
Since everyone seems under the impression that if I'm not talking to them that I must be out getting laid... I'm very much not. I've focused my energy on my art and crafting and selling my creations online.. continuing to do the things that make me happy because right now, that just isn't a man. On that note guys from my past keep arising back in my life and I'm really not sure why because they all seem to enjoy telling me how I'm basically some aggressive b*tch who doesn't care about them, well, I guess they aren't completely wrong now that I'm typing this out. Truth is, I don't really care about them, and I am likely very angry at them and they're seemingly upset that I won't drop my anger and forget about the past. I absolutely refuse to forget the past because I don't like to keep repeating the same mistakes, that is the definition of insanity... to keep doing the same things and it only yielding the same results and they just continue wasting my time and energy all over again. I don't care if that makes me stubborn, if it keeps a**holes out of my life then... all the better I suppose. There are millions of people on this planet, I don't need to keep wasting my time on the same people who just didn't appreciate me in the first place. I'd much rather be a happy lonely hermit crafting her heart out and all the while growing and profiting off of my art skills. If they want to attempt talking to me, they can do so at their own peril but I can't invest my heart or feelings in them... I just don't have it in me at this point.
No comments:
Post a Comment