August 05, 2017

Light His Fire - Chapter 1 Notes

Recently I have been helping my parents clean out their basement (in which we've now removed at least 3,000lb of stuff from the house) and as I was doing as such I stumbled across this book my mom had from 1989 called "Light His Fire" by Ellen Kreidman (I kind of giggled at my mom for having this but when she claimed that it's how she got my step dad to marry her.. I took the bait and actually decided to read a book for a change). Initially, I questioned how relevant this book would be today but as I'm now halfway through chapter 2 it does feel relevant and I think anyone looking to improve their relationship could benefit from this book.

This summer I ended up ending a relationship that lasted over a year and then remorsefully I had bounced into a new relationship that only lasted over a month during this same summer so, I felt that perhaps I could benefit from a book like this right now. I started summing up this book with some notes and decided to share it with you all on here. As I continue reading this book I will try to post more chapter notes on this blog and I would love to hear from you in the comments on if these things have been working for you or if you enjoy reading these notes of mine from the book.

Interestingly enough this book thus far has recently helped me start building a strong connection with someone new (I was pretty shocked to be honest because I didn't think this stuff would work, and you know me... when things do or don't work I will tell you the complete truth about it). One of the things I will mention on here is that I noticed (and this new person noticed because he actually still remarks on it and copies my behavior from it now.. without him even knowing I'm using the methods learned in this book) was when he asked me where I would like to go out to dinner. My response to this was "it doesn't matter to me, as long as I'm with you I'll be happy going anywhere". He laughed and then stated, "I feel like we are teenagers in love"... I was honestly shocked because that's what this book is trying to help couples do and the fact I'm not yet in a relationship with this person was pretty amazing. I will say this... if you have a past relationship and you read this book in hopes of trying to reconnect with an ex (who may have already moved on in a sense) than I don't know that this book will help you regain that relationship status with said person again. I feel like you'd end up doing a lot of apologizing (such as admitting you made mistakes, although don't state to him his mistakes.. just take accountability for your part on how you handle things) and that he may not know how to handle that (call it the male ego if you will), but all you can do after that is possibly wait things out (maybe he'll come around). Without further ado below are my chapter 1 notes, enjoy!

In Chapter 1 this book talks about asking people with good experience in relationships for advice (by good experience it means asking people who have been happily married for 10+ years). Don't ask people who have Ph.D.'s who got everything from a textbook, ask people who have KGFE (knowledge gained from experience). A very important thing to know is that for things to change you have to change and know that we have all the answers within us. For a relationship to survive you have to put thought, time, and effort into it. Perhaps you dont require a walk on the beach but your relationship does... think of your relationship as a business and know that relationships take work. Realize that strife should bring you closer and not further apart. You can't light someone's fire unless you feel good about yourself and come from a position of strength and knowledge... not weakness, subservience, or ignorance (also, there is a "Light Her Fire" book). Understand that our personal life affects our professional life. There's more reason to earn an exceptional income if there's an exceptional person in your life. You can have the relationship you've always dreamed about... one filled with love, mutual respect, communication, romance, excitement, passion, and sex... it's all up to you, you have that power. Get rid of your anger so that you can achieve romance, communication, fun, and intimacy in your life. You may find that you learn more about your partner in doing so. You will then gain the proper tools to improve your relationship from fear, frustration, and loneliness, and see that disappear from your life. You will gain strength that comes from being in love and creating your own destiny. Take full responsibility for your own happiness. No matter who you get advice from you're always better off making your own decisions regarding your happiness. If you focus on improving yourself you'll automatically build a better relationship with your partner. If you try to improve your mate it will lead to disappointment and failure... we can never improve someone else's behavior only our own. If you do some changing your mate will react to the change in you... changes may be subtle but try to lighten up and be kind... in doing so things will improve and when things improve it begins to have a ripple affect not only in your love life but your career and personal life, and the people around you will also benefit from your happiness. You don't have to settle for a mediocre life or a run-of-the-mill relationship and you don't have to settle for weeds when you can have a garden or settle for crumbs when you can have a feast. Before these changes can occur there must be new attitudes and behaviors on your part.
.

July 21, 2017

NKD SKN Pre-Shower Gradual Tan - Review

This product is around $20 a tube at Ulta but may have a tad more product in it than your average cheap drugstore tanner. While the product claims you can put it on for like 15 minutes and then shower it off and get a gradual tan, that may be true but doing that didn't do much for my fair-skinned complexion. However, for most of us looking to replace our regular drugstore tanner, I found I can get similar results by leaving this on for an hour or more instead, which is amazing to me because most tanners take much longer to develop on myself. This product doesn't give you instant color so you if you need help seeing where you're applying the product than this may not be the tanner for you. Although if you're someone on the go and want to get a tan throughout your day without looking like a splotchy hot mess than this may be the tanner for you. After an hour I can see the color actually begin to develop on my skin, but after washing it off at that point I would say it takes roughly 4 hours to fully develop. This product looks like a yellow gel-like lotion and tends to turn a bit olive green on fabric which may make it ideal for an olive skin tone. Overall, I like this tanner and the only con may be the price but even that isn't too bad. This product may cause acne on the face which is my luck with most tanners, but you should definitely give this one a try if you don't like sitting around with a sunless tanner product on your skin for more than an hour or two.

July 14, 2017

Loving Tan - Review

The first thing about this sunless tanner is that I found I had to order it online so, the fact I can't just walk into a store and get it whenever I'm feeling pale is kind of a downside. It's also about $40 which is much more than most drugstore tanners by 6x and it's also less product. I also had a code to get 2 free mitts which I thought were going to be application mitts and instead they were tan removing mitts (not sure why I'd want to remove my tan unless I made a mistake during application, and those were valued at about $30 each). So I ended up going out to Ulta to find an application mitt for less than theirs at almost $15 (as mitts at Ulta are around $6 to $10) because I found this stuff harder than most drugstore tanners to remove from my hands in particular. Based on its developing time I found I had to leave the product on longer than expected in order to achieve my level of desired tan color although this may be less of a wait time than most drugstore tanners. However, once I washed the sunless tanner off it looked like I hadn't gotten tanner at all and I found after it's washed off it develops more throughout the day so, if you need to be tan by a certain time frame I'd suggest tanning the day before. I also didn't find this tanner to really last much longer than other drugstore tanners (for me that's about 3 days on my face and maybe a week on my body). A lot of sunless tanners I can put it on before bed, wake up the next morning, shower, and I have a nice tan. With this product, I felt I got a splotchy and dry looking tan by leaving this on overnight compared to when I washed it off after 3 to 4 hours and waited for it to develop several hours later. The product does give you an instant color which allows you to see where you're applying the product but if you're hoping to look stunningly tan while out in public you'll just look like you have a very splotchy tanned skin problem (it's the first time I used a tanner and my step dad asked me.. "are you okay? you look sick or something", ugh). Overall, I can't see purchasing this 2-hr express dark mousse sunless tanner again for a fair-skinned individual like myself.