July 07, 2017

Bad Relationships

I can safely say I have had my fair share of bad relationships and today I wanted to share with you some things I went through in the past which became things I didn't like about who I was seeing. While this is mainly my advice to women about men it can be applied to anyone. Just know, you aren't alone when it comes to unhappy relationships and you shouldn't waste your time waiting for someone else to change because people are going to be who they are. It's one thing to accept minor flaws, but if it's something that internally hurts your soul or makes you upset because you're so hurt by that person... then they aren't right for you. Don't ever think for a second that there isn't someone better for you, and there is nothing wrong with being single either. Your happiness matters, end of story.
If you aren't first, you're last
If he puts everyone first before you. It may be understandable that his family comes first but if you're in a serious relationship than that person should also view you as a family member as well. If you're the last person he invites to do things with or the last person he mentions events too... then you are either the last person on his mind or he perhaps debated asking you to do something at all.
If you give someone a penny and they ask for a dime
If you try to do something nice for him and he ends up just gripping about it than you may not be the right person for him (or vice versa). If they complain about the way you clean or that you cleaned at all... you need to just quit while you're ahead. If you offer to pick up tacos from TacoBell (because you thought it was a nice gesture) but he asks you to make them instead (which will cost you a lot more if you don't already have the ingredients) he may not be the person for you. Someone that's into you will generally appreciate everything kind that you do for them, even if you made a minor mistake in the process.
Let's talk about sext baby
If he feels he can sext other women and not feel it's cheating, then so can you girl (but why stoop to someone else's level... just get out of that relationship while you can). If you think it's not cheating when he's sexting just think of all the D pics/videos he's sending them, how he's telling them how he wants to meet them or buy things for/from them, telling them the same sweet nothings he told you, and is wasting energy talking to someone else when he should be wasting energy on the good woman he currently has... you need to dip out of that mess.
Burns Bridges
If he makes you look bad to his friends or family and doesn't do anything to fix it once you find out... he probably doesn't give two cents about how you really feel.
If he gripes how you're walking too slow, he thinks his music choices rank supreme over yours, or he corrects you on how you pronounced something incorrectly (maybe you thought it was cute to pronounce things that way) then he isn't right for you.
You have issues that stem for longer than a month (30 days) you need to get out and move on with your life because either he isn't taking your issues with him seriously or he just doesn't care about you. It shouldn't take longer than a month to correct a problem he caused.. if you think it does take longer than be prepared to keep waiting for years to come (do you want that storm cloud looming over you for that long?).
If you block him because he just isn't acting right and is going off the hinges over things he started yet he won't take any accountability for... just keep blocking him and move on with your life. If he leaves you voice messages how he'll call the cops on you because you blocked him... he is crazy and you should be the one calling the cops on him.
It's okay for him
If he thinks it's okay for him to do or say certain things but not you... nah, everyone deserves to be treated equally. He can go out and "network" with co-workers but if you do it or you want to go out and do the same things with him at a later time and he won't... just leave and do your own thang girl.
If he physically abuses you or even verbally abuses you then you need to get out now. Whether it's unwanted sex, verbal threats, physical violence, etc. don't be afraid to contact authorities or even have someone you know or a neighbor do it for you. If you have a car or a good friend/family member/coworker or money for a hotel room than you will hopefully have a safe place to stay for awhile so that you can move away from that guy. Don't let abuse run your life just because you may be living with that person or whatever. If they're living with you than they need to find somewhere else to live, and if they won't leave then you need to contact authorities.
Don't Make Excuses
Don't be someone who makes excuses for someone else's ill behavior like "they were just drunk", "he had a bad day", "we made future plans", "he loves me", etc. If it happened once it can happen again and again so just don't put yourself through that. You don't deserve to be treated badly ever. Yes, it can be hard to get out of a relationship because you have feelings for that person but trust me... it's just as easy to say goodbye and move on. You will move on in time and this is not the end of the world. Just know, you are stronger and more resilient than you may realize, and what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and wiser.

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